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Something for everyone in finest Love Boat tradition

For those who don't know it, the lyrics to the much-hummed theme song included such immortal lines as: ``The Love Boat soon will be making another run/The Love Boat promises something for everyone/Set a course for adventure/Your mind on a new romance''.

So, is the modern reality of cruising -- born from changing times and expectations, along with the odd dose of bad publicity -- any less cheesy, or is it just the hair-dos that have changed?

The Pacific Dawn is part of P&O's modern face of cruising in the South Pacific. Previously US-based and known as Regal Princess, the 2050-passenger cruise ship was launched by P&O in Sydney in late 2007, with Cathy Freeman given the honour of cracking the bottle of champagne over the bow.

It has all the mod-cons: 11 decks, two swimming pools, five evening dining areas, nine bars and lounges, a glitzy three-storey lobby, a nightclub, a two-storey show lounge, fitness centre and dedicated children's facilities.

During school holidays the lure of the latter option is a major drawcard for families. In a recent term break, nearly one-quarter of the Pacific Dawn's 2000 or so passengers were children.

This dropped the average age of the passengers to a mere 45 years, a statistic that highlights the importance of the grey dollar to the cruising industry.

And, while not forgetting cruising's popularity with honeymooners, it appears that offering ``something for everyone'' is not just a background tune, but reflects P&O's dedicated approach to customer service.

While some have accused cruises of simply being floating RSLs, the range of activities covers more than just bingo, pokies, trivia nights and bars (although all of these are on offer).

There are also movies, craft, dance and exercise classes, spa treatments, nightly shows and ping-pong tournaments. You can also try your hand at shuffleboard (played with similar rules to lawn bowls, only with sticks and flat pucks) and deck quoits (think horseshoes).

And it's all driven by the Pacific Daily newsletter -- delivered to the cabin each day.

This chatty guide to what's on explains where the ship is, where it's going and the entertainment options between 8am (a morning walk) to 4am (when the last bar closes). Yes, that's right, the bar closes: gone are the days of 24-hour partying.

There has been a very deliberate change in tone from cruising in recent times; a switch in
policy regarding on-board security and conduct.

As clearly spelled out in one daily newsletter: ``For those of you who have sailed with us before, you should understand that some conduct which has previously occurred on board is now prohibited.''

Apparently that includes running naked in the corridors and overindulging in alcohol.

And Big Brother is watching at all times to ensure that standards are maintained.

The public areas on board the Pacific Dawn are covered by more than 500 CCTV cameras. It's not possible to so much as canoodle on the foredeck without someone potentially watching.

For those who have one or two drinks too many, an alcohol block can be placed on their cruising card, which is a dangerous little piece of credit-card style plastic that is used to pay for all goods and services on board.

Usually put in place for 24 hours, the block is only removed after the now sober, and probably highly-embarrassed passenger, fronts the purser to promise to never (over)do it again.

For more serious transgressions there is the threat of being confined to one's cabin (where it is against P&O policy to deliver alcohol) or even being kicked off the ship at the next port.

Which is not to say there's no chance for romance. There are get-togethers for singles, themed nights, clubs (such as the Aficionado Club: ``If you are an expert or lover of anything fine, meet with fellow enthusiasts to discuss'') and events to aid the facilitation of making new friends.

And just when being on board might be driving a landlubber a little stir-crazy, along come the port visits.

For most passengers, these are a matter of choice, not an enforced departure. Pacific ports which see regular cruise ships are well catered for with markets, taxis and indeed half the island population on hand to help out and entertain.

Now, food. It appears to be against company policy to allow passengers to lose weight on a P&O cruise.

The Pacific Dawn offers ``Your Choice'' Dining, meaning you can eat at the buffet, or the a la carte dining room, or pay a nominal charge to dine at a number of alternative venues.

The steakhouse costs about $20, a pizza $7, a hotdog $5.75, or an ice cream $1.95, and they are all conveniently added to your cruise card.

For those who figure they will stick with the food already covered by their ticket, there is no shortage of options.

Buffet breakfast includes fresh fruit, cereals, pastries, toast, yoghurt, juice, coffee/tea and a selection of hot options such as bacon and breakfast sausages.

Over 10 days, eggs are prepared at least six different ways, potatoes have as many variables, plus guest appearances are made by french toast and pancakes.

Lunch and dinner have similar choice dilemmas. This is no place for food indecision, but there's no panic about missing out: the first breakfast service starts at 5.30am, and ends at 11am, a coffee bar is open until midday, which is when lunch begins.

The midday feasting stops about 2.30pm, when there is a food pause until dinner begins at 5.30pm. Although, to avoid any starvation pains, the grill and trattoria don't shut, and there is an afternoon tea service.

So if eating, drinking and flitting between events aren't enough to keep passengers amused, there's always the traditional lie-around-with-a-book option while doing lots of nothing.

Whether on the rear decks, with the ship's wake trailing endlessly over the horizon, enjoying the view from a private balcony, or chilling on the main deck, the ocean is mesmerising.
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